I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
