I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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