I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
