she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize