That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize