oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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