We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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