So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
