Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
