I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
