I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
