What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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