if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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