there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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