the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize