There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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