This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
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Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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