I showed him my bush... on skype.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
