It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
