im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There r osticjed everywhere
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
