Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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