it hurts more in the daytime
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
