i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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