I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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