I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
