I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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