a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize