I think i peed on brittanys purse
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
