My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
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I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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