As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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