I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
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your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
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And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that