My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.