you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
well you can't waste a boner
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing