Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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