operation harelip BJ is a go
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
