Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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