and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
