I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
