omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
