Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
