he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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