This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
