that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
