i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
