Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....