Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dating After Heartbreak
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
its like you know when i get waxed