things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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