My boss' voice literally gives me gas
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
