I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize