Someone shit on the floor
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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