Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You made out with two different species that night
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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