I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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