You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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