You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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