U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize