i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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