wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
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Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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