I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize