Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
