We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
