I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just want to make out with him forever
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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